January 3, 2018
On New Year’s Eve I came home to a disturbance. Apparently the dogs had lost their minds while I was away. The main culprit was my dog Roscoe aka the singing dog aka @roscoe_champion aka my squish and finally aka my boo. Roscoe has developed a healthy fear of fireworks. I am aware of this fear and thus I locked the dogs in the house upon my departure. I didn’t want them to run away or freak out the neighbors with an extra dosage of howling and barking. Roscoe’s first move in fear was to try and break down the back door. It is now scratched to hell and will either need to be replaced or painted. At first, I thought this was the extent of the damage. I told Roscoe I was sorry for leaving her alone in the middle of an air raid and gave her some love. Then I passed out. Ok actually I stared drunkenly at Instagram for 20 minutes and then I passed out. Ok, for reals? I probably made and then ate a quesadilla, smashed up a multi-vitamin to try and make homemade Emergen-C and then looked at Instagram stories and then I passed out. But I guarantee then I passed out.
The next morning I awoke feeling the beautiful effects of NYE, tortillas, cheese and smashed up vitamins. For me that’s a pretty good feeling. At some point in the morning I noticed that the Internet was not working. I ventured over to the mysterious box and typical spider web of cables to pretend that I knew how to fix it. What I found was a heinous massacre of chewed up cables. I mean every single cable was murdered. TV power, Internet data, Apple TV, stereo power, speaker wires, Cable TV cable, some shit I don’t even know about and even the record player power cord. I really can’t believe she torched the record player. I now realize the area behind the TV looked like the safest bunker during a New Year’s Eve explosion. It’s a great spot to wait out a storm and then apparently calm your nerves by gnawing every accessible wire.
Roscoe is four-years-old and has never acted in this way and I can only assume there was real fear to instigate such a reaction. First off, it’s my fault. I know she is afraid of fireworks and thought my parent’s visiting dog would help keep her calm. That was stupid. However, my first reaction was still frustration. Dammit Roscoe! How am I supposed to watch my Netflix? How am I going to keep up with kids and watch Youtube videos of Lil’ Pump? And how dare you take away my Yoga with Adrienne. Adrienne!!!!!!
Since I had nothing to stream, I decided to grab what they call a book. And this is one of those old school versions with actual pages. Right now I am ready and loving Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. Fatefully that morning’s chapter was focused on Malcolm X and how prison had transformed the career criminal into one of the great leaders of the civil rights movement. Prison focused Malcolm. In a weird way prison freed Malcolm. Holiday notes that when unfair things happen “it would feel much better in the moment to be angry, to be aggrieved, to be depressed or heartbroken.” But these are just moments in our life. Distractions, detours and dead time is a powerful thing. These are opportunities of the utmost importance to quarrel with your demons. At this moment I realize that Roscoe had given me that that slice of prison. At the beginning of this New Year my resolution was chosen for me. You could event say it was chewed for me, but I’m a nerd like that.
I am not a big resolution believer because I am of the mindset that it takes more than the turning of a calendar year to create impactful change. However, I do like the idea that New Year’s makes you think about improvement. It makes you think about how you might better oneself by either addition or subtraction. My preferred improvement is one of addition and my sum is the production of personal content. I have been consuming others content gluttonously, veg’ing out and venturing into pointless nights with a lost glow on my face. Now, I am yearning to produce. I believe the cord massacre of New Year’s Eve 2017 will support this goal. Whether it is writing quick pieces like today, creating content for our @representrunning audience or even collaborating with some of my favorite artists. I cannot wait for less cord in 2018. So thank you Roscoe. In your honor I will repaint the door to add more color to our home and reduce my consumption to add more color to the world. Now if you could just eat Instagram…